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Post by Doji Reiha on Feb 7, 2018 10:49:34 GMT -5
"Ah... Tarik-san is a kind man, I guess. I might be lucky..."
Well, what did she expect to hear actually? Reiha is nervously playing with her hair.
"Accepted myself? I sort of have issues there, you know."
Another glance at Aiko. She read the manga, she knows of what she is struggling against. The depression, the self-harm, the eating disorders. She nods, more to herself as anyone else.
"But I think I'm doing better. Many of things I did before, well, I'm not doing them anymore. I guess I should call mom and dad..."
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Post by Mirumoto Aiko on Feb 7, 2018 14:40:33 GMT -5
Aiko looks at the young woman for several seconds, then looks at Hisui, then at Reiha again, "Doji-san, is it alright if I share with Utaku-sensei your work? I won't if you say no, but I feel it might help her understand you better and she can be in a position to better help you and advise you. Keep in mind, we sensei are here to help and look after you."
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Feb 7, 2018 16:58:43 GMT -5
"It's important that you accept yourself when you do what you plan to do," she says. "Otherwise, you leave yourself open to the misery of letting someone else define you during a difficult time."
"Believe me, I know that from personal experience."
At the mention of manga, she blinks. "Huh. Fuyu-chan mentioned you liked manga, but not that you had your own work. I assume it's also a manga?" A pause. "And Doji Fuyuko-sensei is going to kill me for calling her that in front of you."
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Post by Doji Reiha on Feb 8, 2018 1:14:39 GMT -5
Reiha shifts uncomfortably in seiza, not meeting anyone eye's.
"I... I guess you can, Mirumoto-sensei?" A pause. Fuyuko and Hisui are an couple? Huh. "It is a very personal work, Utaku-sensei, which is why I published it under another name. Please be discrete." There is some weary resignation in her voice.
It figures, one person knows and now the knowledge is spreading...
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Feb 8, 2018 1:19:05 GMT -5
"You don't have to show me if you're not comfortable," Hisui insists, seeing the young Doji's reaction. "It might help me understand your situation better, yes. But if you're not comfortable with letting me see it...I would know why. Is it shame? It is protecting your privacy? Is it because you don't want to be judged? Some other reason, perhaps?"
"Every answer tells me something about how you think of yourself, Doji-san," she says, smiling. She is careful not to get too close. "And that may be of more use in trying to help you than the manga itself."
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Post by Doji Reiha on Feb 8, 2018 5:10:22 GMT -5
"It's a bit of all of those, I guess..."
There is a little frown as she struggles for words.
"I have always had trouble at expressing how I feel, what I think, and I put it all in that manga. I... I have had issues. Hurting myself, starving myself, than eating too much. Feeling as if it was pointless even getting out of bed."
She takes a pause to gather her thoughts. Talking about this is obviously not easy.
"I guess Mirumoto-sensei can show it to you. I am getting better, and the manga has been great for that, not just because I got it out of my system, but judging from the reactions on the manga's facescroll a lot of people can relate. But yeah, I wouldn't want everyone to know I am like that. I'd just get written of as a loser and a failure..."
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Feb 8, 2018 5:26:30 GMT -5
"Funny, I see a survivor."
She leans back, relaxes a little.
"From what you describe, you've been through a lot. You've taken the blows life has to give. Survived," the Utaku says, hoping to provide a different perspective. "You're getting better, you say. And I believe you, because you seem like an honest girl."
"You're afraid of being judged," she adds, sounding as if she is trying to reach out to the Crane. "For your weakness. For your preferences. For your past. For who you are."
"In the end, only you can say when you should tell your mother and how," she concludes. "But I don't think you're ready yet, because you are doing it alone. You lack those you can trust and count on to support you in the aftermath."
"But you don't have to."
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Post by Doji Reiha on Feb 8, 2018 7:43:13 GMT -5
Reiha listens intently and nods.
"I never truly fitted in... You know that feeling like you're always on the outside, looking in at everybody else through glass?"
She shrugs and smiles, but it's a fragile thing.
"Perhaps now it will be different. I'm not alone anymore." Of course there's a blush. "And I think I have made a couple of friends. Also, I really don't like to keep things from my mother..."
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Feb 8, 2018 7:55:04 GMT -5
"To feel invisible?" Hisui ventures. "All too well, actually. My circumstances were likely different from yours, but I imagine some details are similar enough."
She nods, listens. When Reiha blushes, Hisui smiles to offer some measure of comfort. "If you trust these friends and they know the truth, they can help. But if you're hiding something from them now, you'll be hiding things from them after."
"I can't make your choice for you. But, speaking as someone who was in your position, I am offering to help. Fuyuko-sensei and I would be glad to support you, no matter your course of action." She offers a hand, but not too close. It is Reiha's choice to take it. "As well as your dorm mother, naturally. Wouldn't want to do her job for her."
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Post by Doji Reiha on Feb 8, 2018 9:05:09 GMT -5
Reiha, after an initial moment of hesitation lets Hisui take her hand. It is all a little overwhelming but it seems the proper thing to do. Besides, it is a bit late to get all embarrassed by being familiar with the woman who brushed her tails.
"Th... Thank you! Thank you both..." A pause. "Should I apologize to Doji Fuyuko-sensei for the tail-brushing incident? I don't want her upset with me..."
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