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Post by Utaku Hisui on Mar 23, 2018 20:36:49 GMT -5
Hisui doesn't quite understand what it means for Uetani, but the Utaku does understand what it means to lose family. She was devastated at the loss of two sisters and a father. She can only begin to picture what pain the Kakita is going through with the loss of all her immediate blood relations.
"You will do your mothers proud," she says.
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Post by Kakita Uetani on Mar 23, 2018 21:01:44 GMT -5
"I intend to" she whispers, softly "I will be a woman that you can be proud of, that you can look back and be glad to have invited into your home and heart"
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Mar 23, 2018 21:10:52 GMT -5
"I have every confidence that you will exceed the expectations of both your mothers, as I know all my children will. I only hope Fuyuko and I live to see you surpass us so we can congratulate you."
A pause, and a playful smirk.
"Though I hope you don't need to take as long as we did to find Benten's gift. I wouldn't wish that kind of harrowing wait on anyone."
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Post by Kakita Uetani on Mar 23, 2018 21:35:35 GMT -5
"In my heart. I hope that I have found it already. Hope that I do not turn it to poison"
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Mar 23, 2018 21:42:16 GMT -5
"Is it Akodo-san?" she asks, direct and probably not aware of any protocols requiring she not be so blunt. "I promise I won't be hurt if you decide it's not my little Imperial."
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Post by Kakita Uetani on Mar 23, 2018 21:49:46 GMT -5
"It is not so simple as to decide upon just one." she smiles "Although I have closed my heart to random encounters, and I am not seeking any more lovers, I could not turn aside the ones I have."
A soft sound
"But Akodo-sama wishes to be married, and I do not know if that is something I can offer. I calm the storm in his heart, he says, but what clan wants a woman that can not offer children, and if I am to be a Doji, what would they offer to have Akodo-san marry into them?"
"Gyushi-san. He is adorable, but uncomfortable with our arrangement perhaps. Even then, he has his eye upon my room mate, and I am forced to admit... They could be happy together, without me interfering.
"Mako. She is wonderful and giving, and I know that we could be together. There are those that hurt her though, those that will come into her life and take and take and take, until they have taken all they feel they can from her, and move on. How long until she feels I am one of these people? I feel like I take so much from her?"
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Mar 23, 2018 21:58:23 GMT -5
She listens, makes motherly nods at the right points. And then decides to address each concern in turn.
"Akodo-san should be given time to consider his position. I may have implied that your trip to Tsuma put you at risk, though I left the exact nature of the risk up to you to reveal to him. It may have affected his decision," she admits. "As for the matter of marriage, that is ultimately for a matchmaker to decide. And Doji rarely marry out of the family anyway."
"As for Gyushi-san, I met with him recently. I have given him my opinion that he should seek out an honest assessment of his chances with your roommate. Yasuki Tsubasa-san, if I'm not mistaken? I told him that unless he had her perspective, he would never be able to make his own decision. And in the end, whether he decides to stay with you or not must be his choice."
"As for Mako-chan, you voice concerns that echo your own mother's in her relationship with me. Not in the same words, but the same general sentiment. And understand this: my little sister is no weakling. There is steel underneath that silk, even if she so rarely brings it to bear. Believe me when I say that all she asks of you is to love her, to keep her in your life. We're not very demanding, she and I."
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Post by Kakita Uetani on Mar 23, 2018 22:28:21 GMT -5
"I do love her." She smiles "And I want her in my life, of course I do."
She sighs, another strike, clearly with frustration behind it
"I just... I don't understand why people care about me. I am broken, and you all have something that is so perfect without me"
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Post by Utaku Hisui on Mar 23, 2018 22:40:59 GMT -5
"You sound very much like your other mother," Hisui says again. "And me, when the melancholy strikes me."
She performs another strike of her own. Then another, clearing her thoughts before she responds.
"One of your mothers is terrified of losing the other. She would speak repeatedly of how much she loved the other, of how important the other was. And every night, before she went to sleep, she would ask herself if this beautiful woman would still love her tomorrow. If this woman sharing her bed deserved better or could find better," the Utaku says, smiling softly. "And that woman is standing before you right now, telling you she still worries about these things. No one is perfect, Tani-chan. But we focus too much on our flaws to realize they are what make us human."
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Post by Kakita Uetani on Mar 23, 2018 22:52:51 GMT -5
"We spend our whole lives being told that we need to be more than human, for our lords and our clans. Why would I suffer my lover to be given less than I would my lord?"
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